it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
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The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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