I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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