I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
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No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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