Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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