i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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