It's just like the Real World with babies
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
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Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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