Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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