3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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