I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize