I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize