so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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