she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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