i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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