its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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