she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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