Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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