I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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