Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize