I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize