i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize