If i come over, it means nothing
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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