flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize