arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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