he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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