I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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