Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize