I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize