Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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