through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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