There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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