blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize