I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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