Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize