Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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