It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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