my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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