just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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