There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
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I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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