You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize