The maid of honor just puked.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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