Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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