nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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