I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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