I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize