sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
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And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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