I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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