After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize