worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize