Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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