Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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